scottajohnson's Blog
Horror writer, weirdo, and all around fun guy.
Posts: 524
Member of: Library of the Living Dead Forum.
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AmericanHorrorBlog
November 6, 2009 by scottajohnson
In my continuing pursuit of helping out burgeoning young writers (and older writers...), my blog gives helpful hints and talks about the craft of writing. This week, the blog talks about creating bad guys and believable characters. Have a look, look through the old topics, and for heaven's sake, leave a comment or two!
Hope it helps!
Re: Common Mistakes Writers Make When Submitting Their Work
November 3, 2009 by scottajohnson
I disagree. I think you should ALWAYS use spellcheck. But you should also keep a dictionary handy to look up any words that "look" wrong or you are not sure about. Author's often don't "see" their mistakes, so a word can be misspelled, but they don't "see" it because their brain is transposing the correct word over it. I think people should always have another person read their work to look for errors.
-rhiannonfrater
Well said. Spellcheck is a good PRELIMINARY tool, but a first reader is ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY if you want to be a professional. And make sure that first reader is at least somewhat literate. It does you no good if the reader has no vocabulary, reading skills, or grasp of the English language.
On the Subject of Amazon Reviews:
November 2, 2009 by scottajohnson
Okay guys, I know I've asked before, but I'm going to ask again...Not just for me, but for ALL the LOTLD and LOH authors (as well as the upcoming LOSF/F authors)...Please go to Amazon and review the books. Good reviews, bad reviews, it doesn't matter. Just write your honest opinions of the books. Reviews help to drive sales, sales help keep the Doc in business and help to bring the authors you love to your doorstep. Every author on this board will thank you. If you're an author, review someone else's work. If you're not, let the world know who you like! It only takes a few minutes, so please...Think of the kittens.
Thank you.
</Sally Strothers>
Re: OUCH a really bad review!!!
November 2, 2009 by scottajohnson
Bad reviews are just par for the course. Don't sweat it. I've gotten quite a few, and more good ones. Bottom line, fuck him. He's not your target audience.
Re: Next Friday, October 30th...
October 30, 2009 by scottajohnson
DREADTIME STORIES is up! Check it out here!
It'll also be on iTunes later today! WOOT! I'm so excited!
Re: Next Friday, October 30th...
October 28, 2009 by scottajohnson
Here's the OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT!
Re: What got you into Horror
October 25, 2009 by scottajohnson
I grew up in a town where, every three block or so, there was another ghost story. I grew up around the strange and macabre.
Re: Next Friday, October 30th...
October 23, 2009 by scottajohnson
It's going to be part of an ongoing podcast through Dread Central.
Next Friday, October 30th...
October 23, 2009 by scottajohnson
A while back, Dread Central had a podcast called "Dreadtime Stories" that was authors reading their work. When one of the founders of DC quit, I got to looking around and realized there hadn't been an update on that in two years! So I got to thinking. I really love the old radio shows like "The Creeking Door," radio plays that ran in the golden age of radio. So I started writing and guess what? DREAD CENTRAL PRESENTS a new feature..."DREADTIME STORIES!"
The first one'll go live next Friday, so be there or be square! I'll post a link when it goes live, but here's what a few people said about it:
"Heard the first Dreadtime Story and FINALLY,I'm in the mood for Halloween.Love old-tymey radio theater:This nails it.Thanks @UncleCreepy!" - Actor/Director Joe Lynch"Dread time stories is easily the greatest thing that Dread has ever had. Seriously dude. Aces. Flawless Victory." - Buz Danger Walick
So really, just wait for the link and listen. It's gonna knock your effing sox off!
Re: What was your strangest or most frustrating rejection?
October 20, 2009 by scottajohnson
Funniest rejection I ever got was simply a torn shred of paper that said "nope" on it. I kid you not.
The most frustrating rejection I got was recently. An agent, who shall remain nameless, asked for a manuscript re-write. I did as he asked, and when he wrote back he said "I found it really well written and engaging, and it kept my attention all the way through, which is tough. But I didn't love it. So I'll pass."
Talk about something that makes you want to sit down and weep...
Re: LOTLD bookmarks!
October 18, 2009 by scottajohnson
If I may make a suggestion..."Every DAMNED thing..." not "every damn thing." It's proper grammar.
Re: Is your house haunted?
October 14, 2009 by scottajohnson
My first novel, An American Haunting (which has nothing to do with that assinine movie, BTW), was inspired by an actual house that we lived in. We had all kinds of strange occurrences in it, including my daughters and nephews seeing "him" peeking at them out of mirrors. I thought it was just their imaginations until my wife saw "him" too. Much of what happened in the book really happened, with a definite careen into weirdsville when I started fictionalizing. But the house was real, and it really was haunted.
Re: "Over 3,000 Served"
October 12, 2009 by scottajohnson
Wow! That's babyback goodness slathered in Awesome sauce!
Re: Good/Bad News
October 9, 2009 by scottajohnson
I have NEVER driven drunk, or even after drinking two beers. I have always used a designated driver, and, while I can get rowdy, I have NEVER insisted on my keys when I'm drinking. As for the asshole who was driving the cab, it was his JOB to stay sober, and he failed miserably. Whatever happens to him, no sympathy. Your daughter's friend wasn't drunk (granted, underage drinking is a problem...) and therefore was legal to drive, but she at least was acting quasi-responsibly. The cabbie wasn't. End of story.
Re: Good/Bad News
October 9, 2009 by scottajohnson
I'm glad everyone came out (relatively) okay. It could've been much worse. Keep that in mind! As a dad, thoughts like this keep me up some nights.
Re: Fire the person above you
October 8, 2009 by scottajohnson
Dear Mr. Johnson,It has unfortunately fallen to me to inform you that you are no longer employed with this company.While, in our many discussions of this issue, we believe that management has expressed an admirably tolerant view of your unconventional wardrobe choices, we feel that your behavior has become a disruption. You see, just because you wear a kilt, that does not excuse you from wearing underpants. The cost of replacing office chairs alone has outstripped your value to the company.Material concerns aside, the disruption you cause when your lack of appropriate undergarments becomes obvious has become a major problem. It also does not help that you have repeatedly been spotted peeking under the garment yourself and exclaiming, "Lad, I don't know where ye've been, but I see ye won first prize!"I will be praying for your family.Regards,Corporate Stooge #24601P.S. Please remove your haggis from the company refrigerator before you exit the building. The janitors call it "El Diablo" and refuse to touch it.
-michaelclea
Dear Mr. #24601 -
Insomuch as our client, Mr. Scott A. Johnson (hereafter referred to as " The Scotsman") has been wrongfully terminated for reasons directly related to his heritage, this letter is served to educate you (hereafter referred to as "bigoted bastards") about your wrongdoing, and to provide you ample opportunity to set your affairs in order as the amount to be gained by The Scotsman will be sufficient to not only purchase your company, but to continue to employ all current staff for as menial tasks as he can imagine.
Point one - The Kilt is traditional dress for all Scottish men, and wearing them "commando" is the traditional, or "correct," manner of doing so. To deny him this right is to show outright and unmitigated prejudice and bigotry toward all people of Kilted descent. While all bigoted bastards are entitled to their opinion, Equal Oportunity Employment clearly states that no person shall be discriminated against because of his heritage, or the celebration thereof. You are clearly in violation of this rule, and therefore do not have a leg to stand on.
Point two - The Scotsman feels that it is his right to address his friends in any manner necessary to ensure the continuing of his working relationship with them. As a Scotsman's most loyal and true friend is, in fact, his penis (hereafter referred to as "Little William Wallace"), it is only part of his culture to greet him at any given opportunity. To deny him the ability to do so shows a great deal of cultural insensitivity on the part of the bigoted bastards, and is further grounds for the discrimination lawsuit.
Point three - Hagis, while a traditional Scottish dish, is, in fact, acknowledged by the Scotsman to be remarkably foul, and he apologizes for leaving it where those with weaker constitutions (hereafter referred to as "sissys and nancy-boys") could find it.
In conclusion, the Scotsman would like all bigoted bastards, sissys, and nancy-boys to know that, in order to solve this matter peacefully, they should gather in a straight line and formally greet Little William Wallace. He will feast upon a meal of Hagis and your rotting corpses, and will soon be taking over as CEO of your company.
Sincerely,
Michael Howe
Lawfirm of Dewy, Cheetham, and Howe
Re: Fire the person above you
October 8, 2009 by scottajohnson
Oh...And just so everyone knows, the first company to even try to fire me will become the target of a discrimination lawsuit...That's right, I'm a minority. A Hagis-stani. Or as we like to be called in the more politically correct climate, a Kilted-American. 
Re: Fire the person above you
October 8, 2009 by scottajohnson
Dear Ms. Worms -
While it is well known that termination letters are usually written with hyperbole and veiled attempts to prevent former employees from returning to their former office with a high-powered weapon, we at the office for Witness Protection and Relocation find your gross misuse of departmental resources beyond all means of rational thought, and therefore can only tell you in the most honest, straightforward manner of our intentions and reasoning to ensure maximum comprehension and retention. Bearing that in mind:
You're fired. You no longer work here. Your desk will no longer be occupied, nor will your replacement be using it as we feel that whatever is wrong with you might be contagious. Therefore, we are burning your desk and you former office will be lined with polycarbonite liner and then bricked shut. Please feel free to keep the office supplies you've pilfered over the last ten year, for the same reasons.
Our reasons for your firing are varied, but here are the highlights: While we at the WPR are in the habit of providing clients with the names and identities of people deceased, we do not murder people so we can give their identities to our clients. Also, there are only so many "Adolph Hitlers," "Theodore Bundy's" and "Edward Gien's" that you're allowed to hand out. Repeating identities is a sure sign that the identities are faked. In addition, prank calling our clients with a simple "I know who you are and where you live" is frowned upon in our organization. And finally, the use of our databases to find out something so trivial as some obscure author's middle name would be a breach in protocol. That you failed do discover the name boggles the mind and raises serious questions as to your competence.
In accordance to our office and powers, we have hereby declared you "dead" and have reassigned you the identity of "Claudette Goatchoaker" of Gnome, Alaska. They are expecting your arrival tomorrow to resume her duties as an underwater salmon mating specialist.
Enjoy your new life, and may God have mercy on your soul.
Sincerely,
Edmond T. Putzpuller, Director
Witness Protection Program
